This is not why you came here

Christian cross cultural dating

It is a relationship that ought to be marked by sacrificial, servant-like love. Love changes over time, the initial excitement changes into a deep-rooted mutual respect, a different type of love, in the best relationships. There is a greater blending and balance of the ideas we held before marriage, which brings me to my second point. We can be so opinionated and so confident that we have everything nicely figured out. However, culture and country can have an influence on the relationship.

We can put

Starting a cross cultural relationship with someone from another country or even inside your own country can be very exciting. In others it simply melts away.

Consider Him who laid down His crowns and traded them for a cross. Follow the example of Jesus, who for the joy of procuring His bride, humbled Himself and came down to earth. We can point out blind spots, drawing out the best of each culture, and form a new version. Growing up in predominantly white, Dutch, middle-class suburbia, I envisioned that I would probably have blond-haired, blue-eyed offspring.

Yet, when it comes to decisions that need to be made, what makes our marriage tick is the commonality of the gospel. On the whole though, relationships depend upon the people in them, not where those people live or the country or culture they come from.

For example Niall

We can then celebrate a richness of diversity in our family. While each culture has its own sinful tendencies to be wary of, they also have different strengths we can learn from. Marriage is about sacrifice, and serving your spouse. But when your spouse hails from another part of the globe, this is going to be magnified to a much greater degree of intensity. If you will be spending the holidays overseas, be gracious and willing to leave your own family and traditions at this time.

Some do find though that after a few years the ongoing background strain of living in what will always be at root an unfamilar and alien country or culture becomes too much. Let home be a place where you speak kindly to one another, respect the different understandings from which you came, and blend your two unique and beautiful cultures together.

Nevertheless, even allowing for this, a cross cultural marriage or similar love relationship can be extremely exciting. Copyright Vince Appleby Use the search box top right to search the international database for people to get to know in your country or abroad.

We can put our cultural differences aside and recognize the higher authority, our Lord and Maker. For example, Niall and I both grew up speaking English though he also speaks Irish. With Christ as our foundation, we could agree on most of the important decisions. As a middle-class American, my thinking is often permeated with materialism and individualism. This has been revolutionary for me.